“You write in a very sophisticated and polished way but a way that is also highly readable and there is nothing in it that I found particularly irksome or that would cause any type of reader to reject it out of hand. You have quite exceptional ability as a writer; the style has energy and zest, and a first-class narrative technique which captures the reader’s attention instantly, and which most readers would find highly accessible. It is notoriously difficult to write a credible fantasy novel, that keeps one so utterly entertained throughout, but you achieve this with dexterity. This fact alone places the book head and shoulders above others of the same type.
The opening section of any novel must do several things and the opening of your book (and by this, I mean the first ten percent or so) fulfils all of the requirements perfectly. It really is superb. It has drama, mystery, the hint of a very sophisticated plot and what we assume to be the protagonist, all introduced in a wonderfully evocative way. When reading it I intended first of all reading only as far as the end of the first five chapters in order to get a ‘feel’ for the book but found myself so absorbed with the powerful narrative that I continued reading far beyond that. Eventually, I found myself reading the book in two sittings which is probably indicative of its quality.
In commercial terms the point about having an opening which is both impacting and yet promises more to come, with particular reference to Kindle books, is that some time ago Amazon introduced a ‘Look Inside’ facility in their Kindle books whereby prospective buyers can read the first 10% of a book before deciding whether or not to buy. This is to the huge advantage of Beyond the Hago Gate in that this is such a superbly portrayed, constructed and written opening section that it would have buyers clicking the ‘Buy Now with One Click’ button immediately. As a lesson on how to begin a work of fantasy fiction it is exemplary.
But the book as a whole has a great deal to recommend it, not least the carefully conceived and generally well executed plot which I found to be very suitable for the target demographic. Overall, this is undoubtedly one of the best books of its type that I have read for some time.
Interestingly, for a book of this kind the settings are handled extremely competently. The locations, background and context as well as the more abstract psychological elements represent very specialised environments so it is important that the setting ring true. The Kingdom of Harlem is a well-crafted and authentic setting which has been detailed extremely well. On one side are the King and Queen, with their opulent palace and lives, and on the other are the real people – Zogi, his family and friends – who must abide by the King’s steadfast rules. The fantasy elements have also been perfectly portrayed – from an old woman manifesting into a dangerous dragon, a wise sage, moving pots and monsters to glowing transparent apples which vibrate, cry and talk and, of course, a wicked curse which casts a dark shadow over the King’s happiness – and to maintain authenticity is not easy. I suspect that you must have carried out a great deal of thorough research into this fascinating genre to create such a convincing story. Given the importance of the settings as a backdrop to much of the action, had it not been so the whole book would have been seriously flawed.
There is a danger, of course, in an author having such specialised knowledge of the background, that he becomes too absorbed in the setting, allowing the narrative to suffer. So it is to your great credit that the balance between narrative and background or setting is well nigh perfect.
To look now at certain specifics, the plot of this work is very good indeed and you have done well to fashion a credible plot from such a simple catalyst – the curse that is bestowed upon King Bantu as a 16 year old prince. In all works of fiction a good plot should progress steadily upwards with a series of twists, turns and setbacks as the protagonist tries to achieve his or her goals, leading to the denouement. This is basically the case with this book. The protagonist, Zogi, finds himself faced with a number of problems which manifest themselves as plot points. As a young and somewhat brave 10 year old boy, with a fierce taste for adventure, Zogi does not realise the enormity of what lies behind the Hago Gate. Fuelled by his dreams of the treasures which lie in this forbidden forest, he takes it upon himself to discover why the King has made this area out of bounds for the people of Harlem. He finds a magic apple and shares his discovery and plans with his friend, Loga, who is somewhat disconcerted by it all. When he realizes what Zogi has done, while the rest of the kingdom enjoys the Banujala annual celebrations, Loga knows he has to save him. Meanwhile, back at the palace, the King is spooked by the sighting of the old woman from his troubled past, and it seems like Zogi and his friends have landed themselves in catastrophic trouble this time. Little do they know that they have tapped into the secret, cursed world that is the source of King Bantu’s nightmares, and this makes for very addictive reading. Furthermore, it is given that something ‘extra’ because of the superior quality of the writing, which has tremendous significance, and which leads the reader onwards and upwards as the book progresses towards what is a satisfactory denouement.
Again, with specific reference to Kindle publications, the authors who do best commercially are those who have more than one book available for sale on Kindle for rather obvious reasons, but much more so than in conventional printed book publishing. The fact that the ending has been deliberately left open to allow for such a sequel and another book in the series is an astute commercial move.
In summary, therefore, this is as good a book of its type as I have read for some time and far better than the majority of hopefuls one encounters. It will be particularly strong in the Kindle marketplace simply because it is difficult to find fault with it. It seems to possess everything required to be successful and one cannot praise more highly than that.
Critically, it also has tremendous televisual potential, with sufficient spectacle balanced by adventure and supported by believable dialogue to allow for relatively straightforward dramatisation. Plus, it is now well known that television and film ‘scouts’ trawl the new Kindle titles looking specifically for suitable material. They would not need to look beyond Beyond the Hago Gate…”